The Chronicles of Nernia

Aye-Aye

2011-03-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

STRANGER to Me: "Yeah,...I totally read that in your blog..."

2011-03-08T15:29:00.005-07:00

Before I explain the titular comedic value (true story, real quote, said by a stranger, to me, recently) of this post, a quick photo that I like but that needs no real contextualizing or elaboration. I always equivocate about showing stuff like this for fear of it seeming boastful. But I'm proud of my dad! VERY. He's fallible, he's a regular man, he's human, he's a dad who adores me but has

Happy 8th Birthday, Hoss!!

2011-03-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

Annals Surfing:Hugo is 8. WOW.His life expectancy is 13-15, thankfully. Ah, we were both mere babes! To be young again.....

Lists By One Most Listless, continued: #'s 48-55

2011-03-03T20:22:00.006-07:00

48.) So I've been scrambling to locate that comprehensively brilliant & terrifying article on torture that I read in a Northwestern class (entitled, oddly enough, "Milton's Material World") so I can begin to fulfill my self-assigned task of writing and publishing (the fluidity of such terms now that blogging has arrived is a bit scary--I'd never tout myself as 'published', for instance, simply

Happy Birthday Slim

2011-02-28T22:21:00.005-07:00

I realize you'd NEVER deduce this on your own, but I actually did the photoshopping myself. I know the kelly green I chose is virtually indistinguishable from that of the sign (in front of which I screeched to a halt, threw my hazards on and whipped out my Blackberry for a pic), but that green triangle was actually a different hue, originally. I know. Couldn't tell, huh.Design? Potential second

"WE CLEAN UGGS"

2011-02-28T21:50:00.009-07:00

Big ups to Cyndi Hutchins for reminding me that the poll (at right) is indeed closed after I promoted it on Facebook moments ago with this status: "interesting: so far, the majority vote on my blog's poll is for me to write an essay on the topic of torture. I'm intrigued by both it, and the interest in it. Go vote if you haven't. It's quick & anonymous (<--that's-what-she-said)." I may have to

For Illinois Residents: Important Legislation!

2011-02-25T17:41:00.001-07:00

Hi all, I'll keep this uncharacteristically brief. Before I launch in, please know that a similar appeal is forthcoming (next few days) on a different topic, but for now, this is pressing: One of my best friends, Anne (high school classmate, my age), is a cancer survivor, specifically skin cancer/melanoma. On March 1st (just a few days from now!!!!), a bill proposing to ban minors from the use

NEW POLL at right.

2011-02-21T07:17:00.003-07:00

That about says it. NEW POLL. Get at it. Ravage that poll with honesty and insight. Thank you!

Call me Alexandra Rueve.

2011-02-21T06:59:00.002-07:00

As I sit here in the most tremendous physical pain I've ever experienced, I'm acutely (I even wince at the use of that word in any function other than as an adverb to melodramatically but accurately precede the word PAINFUL) aware that though in my head I keep marveling, "Wow, I can say without hesitation or equivocation that this is the most pain I've ever felt", I have not yet given birth to a

IMG02066-20101207-1319.jpg

2011-02-16T00:25:00.000-07:00

Testing out the whole heretofore unknown mobile blogging capability...Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Annals Surfing

2011-02-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

...i must've written this while you "practiced your lines into the telephone"...

#'s 44-47...

2011-02-15T20:10:00.001-07:00

Anyone joining me en media res may wonder why the propensity to number things? I resolved to do so to impose a bit of order on an otherwise pretty chaotic set of thoughts (they're incessant too, yeah...I KNOW, brutal), and then it became a bit of a fun game to track with the number of people in FB who 'like' the blog. We're at 206. Alternate sources indicate there are pockets of fandom in The

#'s 36-43 of 198.

2011-01-30T21:57:00.005-07:00

36. First things first (or 36th)....I apologize for the layout. I am just as aware as you are (JOSHUA BOWDEN TATE) that it's difficult to read against the background. But: I finally determined what photo I'd like to be my semi-permanent blog photo...it's a covered bridge in Pittsford, Vermont. Took the picture in late September. Job and I presumed to shove some Dubie signage around its perimeter,

With a scone in my pocket: #'s 27-34 (and on. and on&on&on, til the break o' break o' dawn)

2011-01-26T17:31:00.001-07:00

27. "SISTER: SEPTEMBER SECOND?!?!?!?!!? SERIOUSLY?" With those words, my friend Anne (Americanne Crocker) Crockford* reminded me with the gentlest of indictments that perhaps it'd been just a bit too long since I'd blogged. We were chatting on g-chat and apparently she popped open a new tab (for those of you who, like me, enjoy bathroom humor and are mature enough to admit it--paradox, indeed--

#'s18-26: QUOTES/Dark Meat McNerney/Tragedy at Ridge Rd/VT goods/GZ Mosque

2010-09-02T00:39:00.002-06:00

#18. I couldn't decide--still can't--whether this should be an asterisk post, a "lists by one most listless", or simply the next however many of the (now up to!!!!!) 146 things/concepts/observations/opinions/questions I'd like to pose. All I know is this is about as overdue as a twelve month fetus, and lest you lose interest, and I lose what capacity I'm regaining as a writer, I should just be

#17: Interracial Canine Lurrrve Deserves Its Own Post.

2010-08-21T17:03:00.001-06:00

There doesn't seem to be much order to my thoughts, and if you read this blog that's something you're well apprised of already. So let's just continue with the numerical approach, for now. It provides a little structure, although it's definitely false and contrived. One thing I'll say for myself--I may deviate from an original point or anecdote (in cases where there was one), but I

Know Your Exits--first 16 of 102.

2010-08-08T01:45:00.001-06:00

102 things. Not all at once. That'd be ridiculous. But my blog's gotten 102 facebook fans--surprisingly so--and I don't particularly care for round numbers, so 102 it is. It's 3 more than Fifty Cent has problems. Not all 102 in this post. Don't despair. I wouldn't put even the most dedicated amongst you through that. 1. The poll-----> has closed. Turns out very few of you know what I collect;

Vol.2: lists by one most listless

2010-08-03T21:29:00.008-06:00

It's red, it's bold and its purpose is to inform you that this periodic lists idea is not entirely my own. I say "entirely"--implying that you as readers infer that it is partially, because I had thought of it for some time. I do it to order my thoughts. Doesn't work too well. It is, however, something Joshua Tate has for some time done in his own blog, and very well at that. He insists he

* * * *

2010-08-01T21:41:00.002-06:00

* * * * Nobody is more disappointed than my mouth right now that the bagels that not one hour ago looked very convincing behind the "WHOLE WHEAT" sign written in 48 point font are in fact some weird rye/pumpernickel hybrid. I'll pump your nickel, Mr. Jewel-Osco bakery manager, next time I see you- for giving me that lopsided grin when I head-nodded hello, all the while your heart full of deceit

Me, I go crazy for the polls.

2010-07-31T04:06:00.000-06:00

I don't know why I think that Blogger's "poll" function is the best thing since sliced bread (which, as my mother and hers before her have properly indoctrinated me to understand is a mere vehicle for butter), but the fact is I do. Get at it. For the most recent one at right, people exempted from voting include the same mom I just mentioned. Because she has a propensity to cheat (and she knows

AZ/womb envy/Josh counterpoint/SASS/peanuts

2010-07-30T18:12:00.007-06:00

FORGOT; ADDING IT AT THE TOP, HERE. PLEASE VOTE IN THE MOST PERTINENT OF POLLS---> UPPER RIGHT. thanks!!!! For some reason I've been inordinately tired today. My head is splitting, and the techno music coming from "SHEBEADS", the uber hip bead store that has recently taken up residence below my apartment, is defying decibels and splitting atoms. Usually that happens around 2am, when the artistic

Kinda puts the "go" in CITGO

2010-07-29T23:40:00.001-06:00

About a mile down the street from me.Major points for creativity and a positive attitude by people whom I presume are now out of a job.Chicago people (especially North Shore): This is right next to Sarkis....across from Hot Dog Island, in Wilmette.For the record, I don't fault them for the missing "N". They were probably packed,Fair enough to assume passersby can use their context clues (as well

1.Arnold Palmer grabbed my butt/2.My Roof

2010-07-27T00:45:00.001-06:00

1. That's true. Actually? He did it twice. At a party, after a major golf tournament. Apparently it's tolerated and even considered cute (I base this on my dad's lack of affront and Mr. Palmer's assistant's absentminded, inane response when I whispered to him furtively, "I think he just grabbed my butt!!!".--"Yeah, he does that to somewhat attractive girls. He's sort of famous for it, or, what's

* * * * *

2010-07-25T20:49:00.001-06:00

PHEW.Half.com has informed me my first deposit of $19.47 should appear in my checking account soon. What a relief. Looks like I'll be able to afford that 1/3 tank of gas after all. Also on the monetary front, I did receive a second check from Identity-Links, the place of my short-lived employ. Oddly enough, the first check I received was for only one week's work, huh, and when I *immediately*

Grapes/Expostulating/Photos/Aviators/Polls/Shout Outs

2010-07-21T19:41:00.006-06:00

First of all: I'm relieved of a what'd become a bit of a moral burden. You guys totally voted for Grapes, or at least enough of you did; it garnered the esteemed prize of WLRN. What Lisa Reads Next. Which I assure you has alleviated the aforementioned burden, because friends, (that sounds very McCain...."myyyyy friendzzzz", although I assure you I have my nasality a bit more under control than

[misc.misc.misc]

2010-07-18T22:42:00.005-06:00

I intended to post about a bunch of different things, and even came up with a few brilliant ideas (no doubt I was more impressed with these cognitive nuggets considering they came to me in the dim half-sleep 5 am lethargy that many of you call "early morning"; I have a more complicated relationship with sleep lately, so to me it was "late night", and rather than fire up the laptop, I texted

[hereafter]

2010-07-16T00:46:00.001-06:00

Not ruled out. Nursing School. Taking over two months worth of dog-walking shifts. Short Term Political Campaign Work. Private School Substitute Teaching. Haiti...HAITI?...Haiti. Misericordia Employment. Ruled out. Penury. Dependence. Making decisions that are more in line with others' aspirations than my own. Making decisions that are designed to garner others' praise or approval. Stagnancy.

I can't STAND Dave Matthews. But I've always liked this. Condi's pelvic thrust mainly.

2010-07-15T19:51:00.000-06:00

1st & Amistad

2010-07-15T19:47:00.000-06:00

ssssstastically ssssspeaking, yo.

2010-07-14T03:39:00.002-06:00

STATISTICS, 07.05-07.12: I'd like it if you'd consider the above title as spoken by the snake from Disney's version of "Robinhood". The one whom the ssssscript frequently called for to say "ssssssire". It's fun that way. Thanks. Thankssssss. # of trips to the/a post office, including two I'll make today for half.com purchases: Six. # of times I overhead my mother singing Amy Winehouse's hit

The man works fast...

2010-07-09T14:42:00.000-06:00

Ten hours after being very abruptly & inexplicably "let go"from my job. . . . . . these arrived at my doorstep, from the Job I can always count on. Capital J.Thanks, JBT.

Lists by 1 Most Listless

2010-07-08T01:23:00.004-06:00

LIST # 1: Actual CNN or Fox News headlines that are at best poorly written, & at worst appear more like Onion article titles: Caveat: Incidentally, I'm considering writing humorous articles based solely on the titles if any of them appear particularly fruitful and inviting. Some are quite literally too good to be true. Suggestions will be considered. To give you an idea of the abundance of

Centennial Post--Disabling the Passivity Feature

2010-06-30T13:54:00.000-06:00

Just a brief note to let you all know that thanks to the much faster modem at my office, I was able to finally determine how to remove that "Reactions" section that showed beneath each post-you know the ones to which I refer--most of you'd ignore them or occasionally check the "Love It". I had a complicated relationship with those boxes. I enabled them, obviously. I'd also occasionally check one,

"Gator Don't Sweat"--a scathing, riotously fun interview of me, by Joshua Bowden Tate

2010-06-29T21:48:00.000-06:00

Last night, I had the honor of being Josh Tate's first interview subject, for his blog "The Bummer Free Zone". We spoke by phone for over an hour. Now, he'd asked me by text about eight days ago whether I'd submit to an interview. Of course I agreed immediately, and he said he'd need a week or so to compile questions, and encouraged me to develop a few of my own if I'd like. The chat was great,

"You can even add your shoulders if ya want"

2010-06-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

"The country running-man? Now that's jammin'."

Get Baked

2010-06-27T13:36:00.000-06:00

Last night was the Misericordia Dinner Dance. I win stuff. Sometimes this benefits you. The general you. The opportunistic you's. Visit the Misericordia bakery site & see what looks good....I certainly don't need any more confectionary delights in my life right now, as I resume running & eating healthfully, and I don't host a lot. Most of my people are too far away--like some of you. Let me know

I like this depiction of Jorge W.

2010-06-27T01:22:00.000-06:00

Things I'm not troubled by: His expression. The spade.His hot coiff.Things I'm troubled by: The eyeball's creepy Masonic connotations. The bloomers. His hot coiff.

Uh-Oh

2010-06-25T14:11:00.000-06:00

. . . Looks like somebody broke the good McChrystal. . . "Honey, let's stick with paper plates for awhile--just til this whole Afghanistan thing blows over."

The "CALL DINO" Column: Week 1, Volume 1--Transcriptions of Landlord Incompetence

2010-06-25T06:26:00.000-06:00

INTRODUCTION:Because this is a new feature that I intend to publish weekly, in this case I'm making an exception and providing examples of how asinine my landlord is--examples that far predate this particular week. It's my hope that it'll give you a comprehensive sense of how astonishing he is (what's truly baffling are his irreconcilable traits of pleasant affability and total total total

Auspicious Adornment: "Each Beloved Hour"

2010-06-24T03:43:00.000-06:00

While I was in Vermont at the beginning of this month, Janie took me to a jewelry store in Benson, the small town where their lake house is located. She was inordinately generous, and got me some wonderful earrings. To be truthful, although the proprietor, whom Janie knew, advised me to 'try on a few pairs', 'look around', I zeroed in on these babies immediately with sonar that'd be the envy of

WHAT WOULD YOU GUESS THIS IS?

2010-06-24T02:49:00.000-06:00

Seriously, guess. Please.

I AM, ADMITTEDLY, NO GOOD AT SURPRISES...HOWEVER...

2010-06-24T02:39:00.000-06:00

THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'LL GIVE IN TO THE TEMPTATION TO DISCLOSE THE CONTENTS OF THIS MOST UNIQUE CARE PACKAGE:JUST BECAUSE I SURREPTITIOUSLY OBTAINED THE PARTICULAR HOTEL ADDRESS OF HIS NAVAL DETACHMENT AND EXECUTED A PARTICULARLY STEALTHY MANEUVER TO GET HIS ROOM NUMBER ( I JUST ASKED HIM FOR IT ), AND HAVE SHARED WITH HIM SOME OF ITS CONTENTS, I STILL LIKE MY CARE PACKAGES TO BE A SURPRISE. THIS

HE IS HONESTLY CONVINCED

2010-06-24T02:25:00.000-06:00

THAT THIS IS OUR BACKYARD.

Because Words Aren't Working Right Now, a Few Photos In Their Stead

2010-06-24T01:34:00.000-06:00

I should be put on a government watch list of sorts, if by now they've developed one for self-saboteurs.Please enjoy this photo of me, taken as I headed to my first day of work last Monday. . . shot for Job's benefit at the time, but decidedly good for public consumption, and unfortunately uber emblematic of the way I feel most of the time right now. I hope it amuses you. Here's the deal. I was

GREEN THOUGHTS

2010-05-22T21:34:00.000-06:00

*green thoughts: spill blood to bleed tears* trembling defies me deigns not to value the pact we'd madethe one I spill blood for each day that presents itselfi walk these cracks in search of sidewalks/ scour these crowds in search of peopleravage these fissures for mortar that holds trembling betrays me, cherishes nothing I thought we'd held dear i traipse these barren halls looking to both sides

Dad/Boeing video/Prince's Rainforest Project

2010-05-13T01:29:00.000-06:00

I love this. I love my dad. My dad is so earnest, sometimes I wonder how he's been so successful in an age of celebrity CEO's. He recently remarked to me that if he were to accept the media offers, do the interviews, pose on the cover of Fortune (things he's done, but sparingly) as often as he's courted, people would--and should, rightfully so--wonder why he isn't hard at work instead.I stumbled

"Don't you get exasperated with me!"

2010-05-13T01:20:00.000-06:00

The only thing that requires explanation here is when you hear me say "drumsticks". I'm referring to Hugo's hindlegs. He's got a ridiculous number of nicknames, but I only bust out "Perdue" on occasion. He's just so darn cute when he flops down and extends all four appendages, but those rear ones look uncannily like chicken legs. Not trim ones either. THE DOUBLE BARK.

Last June, I lost a bet...

2010-04-16T23:49:00.000-06:00

...The stakes were low, the booty negligible (heh)...and I consequently made good, despite the vehement protests on the other end that I need not, lots of atavistic 'your money's no good here' type claims. This was particularly sweet as he'd known I'd been in dire straits financially for a few months already and was, as he remains, very supportive and instructive where that's concerned...Needless

Let me ROCK it Shaka Khan.

2010-04-16T20:46:00.001-06:00

I love my mother."another picture of us? don't put this one on facebook or whatever."I'm abiding by that wish. This is my blog. But she's so cute. And I'm 29 but she still picks me up so we can go take Christy out, and generally has some sort of gift or grocery item for me. And she's very photogenic. And kind. And wonderful.And can't spell in a text to save her life. Here's how I know to be

more people should know "badly drawn boy"

2010-04-16T20:18:00.000-06:00

2010-04-16T20:12:00.000-06:00

MYRTLE the PUNISHER (MTP hereafter)

2010-04-16T18:58:00.001-06:00

An inventory of my experiences on MTP thusfar this spring. Not comprehensive, and not necessarily chronological, but worth chronicling.1. Pulled her out of "storage" (my apartment's back door opens to the washer and dryer; the room doubles as a large storage unit for me and the building's sole other occupant Simon, a bizarre cab-driving, day-trading, unhelpful in emergencies, asocial type who

teddy bear.

2010-03-16T13:38:00.000-06:00

I have much to say (born that way), & various things about which I'd like to blog....but that'll have to wait until tonight. For now, though, I've been so eager to publish something, here's a photo of Hugo I showed Christy the other day. She promptly dug her metaphorical heels in, labeled him "teddy bear" and refuses now to acknowledge that any likeness of Hugo is indeed Hugo. A number of people

many things, 6 weeks worth of things

2010-03-04T11:28:00.001-07:00

Rather than publish what would amount to maybe 8 short posts, I'm just going to throw down everything that's on my mind and hopefully include anything of consequence that's happened over the past 6 weeks or so. Since I last tended to the Chronicles. It's nice to have an excuse for what's a long established character flaw--a lack of continuity and inability to achieve brevity. We'll consider this

Treasure Island (Spoiler: it's not an amusement park)

2010-02-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

So I live across from a unique, rather fancy, overpriced grocery store. Kind of a bastion in a world overrun (thankfully so, in many instances, like, oh I don't know, ANYTIME after 9 pm) with major chains like Jewel, Walgreens, Dominick's, Walmart and Target. Treasure Island calls itself "America's Most European Grocery Store". Now, I've not frequented enough European markets--actual ones,

..........I GOT NEW SUNGLASSES.......

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

......and thought I wanted to publicize that to more than just the two people who received this picture via text. There's something very insect about my face here, but nonetheless, I love them. I rarely look good in sunglasses. Not even positive I do in these. But I feel good, and couldn't care less. I haven't blogged in awhile; topically this really doesn't warrant a post. Forgive the

2009-12-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

I really appreciate the "My work here is done" vibe I get from this shot.And without disclosing more than you'd ever want or need to know,that's quite an accurate sentiment.No need to look so martyr-ish about it though.I'm the one carrying the plastic bag.

If ever there were a letter I should have responded to 12 years earlier...?

2009-12-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Job!!!! Job and I reconnected exactly a year ago tonight; I wished him a happy birthday. That turned into an hours long exchange. Nothing has been the same since. Not for a single day. I mean that 'single day' part quite literally.:) About six months ago I found this letter from him, and read it to him over the phone. Neither of us remembers me responding at the time.[Yeah, he

I'm serious about savings.

2009-12-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the best part is that I circled it in thick black Sharpie, as though I might forget how excited I was, or for what purpose I was photographing my grocery receipt.It has my name on it too. There's a proprietary element at work.That's almost a dollar for every year of my life.

...a few things that have made me happy this week...

2009-12-04T16:35:00.001-07:00

My personal coffee kiosk. Some of you may recall when, on May 1st, I enacted the no purchasing coffee to go (at Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Caribou etc) statute, enforced by post-its secured on both front and back apartment doors. After saving approximately $1400, I had a brief relapse. Now? I'm back onboard the budget train. It never fails to delight me to see my little cafe when I round the

* so, i sell books *

2009-12-01T01:11:00.000-07:00

For 'extra' (arguably not a necessary qualifier for an unemployed student, ouch.....) income, I sell books. By my rough estimate, I own--between the ones I retrieved from my mom's house, those that've stayed with me from college straight to apartment life, and indeed the many I've acquired as a grad student, avid 'for fun' reader and long time Barnes & Noble employee (the discount...oh dear the

christy

2009-11-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

So, I picked up Christy today from Misericordia to deliver her to my mom's for the night. She came prepared, as any contemporary woman does, replete with a Thanksgiving/autumn themed gait belt, chic purple knit dress with black turtleneck and matching stockings, red kicks, an exotic elephant themed Vera Bradley 'clutch' and a camera ready attitude. I was thrilled because she'll rarely even

Oh dear. Ohhhhh dear. So late, but so sa soon...

2009-11-25T00:14:00.001-07:00

"You can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it." -CHA SA SOON, a 68 year-old South Korean woman who passed her country's written driver's license exam on her 950th try. (source: TIME)[....I almost could have let it go were it not for her last name. Almost....] Bet she's got a crazy spoiler and pimped out sound system. 'nntz nntz, nntz nntz.'**generic base noise, say it out loud. I made

2009-11-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

"If our God were a pagan god or the god of intellectuals--and for me it comes to much the same--He might fly to His remotest heaven and our grief would force him down to earth again. But you know that our God came to be among us. Shake your fist at Him, spit in His face, scourge Him, and finally crucify Him: what does it matter?...It's all already been done to him."

When passivity and inaction unite!!....

2009-11-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

"Obama Warns Iran of possible sanctions"Nukes Also on the agenda with N. Korea______________________________________________________One quote from the above article, from yesterday's USA Today, written in the wake of Obama's incredibly successful Asia trip, oughtta do it:"Over the next several weeks, we will be developing a package of potential steps that we could take that will indicate our

Generica....exceptions: pepsi & carmex....

2009-11-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

......this is the kind of thing i would (did) actually spend time arranging. it's not 'urban art', as evidenced by the fact that it's on my coffee table...it's my demonstration to you that in fact buying generic is not the exception--it's the rule!!......i think there's a possibility-albeit slim-that i might singlehandedly resurrect this languishing economy. certain things are necessities:

2009-11-03T01:46:00.000-07:00

There are one way streets.There are, most common, two way streets.Now, because I promised you I'd jump, there is a zero way street.Patent pending.

"No, I am them."

2009-11-03T01:24:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the dental chair at the endodontist's office this morning, doing that awkward thing where you've exhausted polite topics with the hygienist (I even showed off, spoke the tiny bit of Russian I knew, because she was Ukranian...lots of linguistic overlap), so you both find yourself just sort of praying that the doc shows up with the x-rays to break the tension. There was a tv

"We're very skilled investigators....."...trust me folks, #4 alone is worth your time. can't miss it. i made it red AND underlined

2009-10-29T21:23:00.000-06:00

....wait for it, it's number 4...thursday, october 29th's REAL cnn.com headlines that i'd prefer be onion headlines:(see cnn.com if you don't believe me...i cite sources and mean it when i do)1. "Sting finds comfort in Winter"2. Yachtsman: "We're being held by pirates" 3. "Study Finds Women of All Sizes Gorgeous" 4. "Police Say Guilt Was Written All Over Their Faces."Police received a call Friday

2009-10-29T00:21:00.000-06:00

*celebratory iced soy (decaf--who you kiddin', i'm easily excitable; check the time of this post) latte. added my own splenda & a skosh of happiness...for the record, haven't purchased coffee but ONCE since may 1st, this was a big deal...*

2009-10-28T06:03:00.001-06:00

I've intended for nearly two weeks now to post a piece I've written about an American scientist (MIT grad, brilliant, advisor to numerous administrations--the whole deal) arrested for treason a few weeks back. I suppose I'm treating it like a serious article or paper rather than just a blog post, but I feel pretty strongly about treason (I know, silly, right?), and hope to convey my thoughts

Illinois: "Hot or Not?" Weigh in.

2009-10-27T15:56:00.000-06:00

Note the sign below...represent, Abraham. We are the Land of....I was so excited and eager to have my (oft erstwhile, temperamental) digital camera finally operable again that I was determined to locate deer to photograph as I cruised along the forest preserve path. The last few times, I'd seen--no joke--a minimum of six deer, some of them close enough to have had the audacity to engage me in

2009-10-26T21:04:00.000-06:00

I bought it so I could tell you I did.I use it because you like me to.I'm still convinced I don't need it.I already know my true north. ..that's you..

Lessons from the past with lit*tle Lisa

2009-10-22T10:47:00.000-06:00

Lessons with little Lisa:circa 1985-19861. I think I wanna be a writer, at least for fun. I'll start a blog now, despite the fact that blogging not only doesn't yet exist, but won't be used as a verb until long after the internet arrives. Or pardon me, until Al Gore invents it.2. Bangs are unacceptable. On ME, before anyone gets offended.3. There's nothing wrong with disembodied Cabbage Patch

2009-10-22T01:32:00.000-06:00

I can't recollect when or how I came to be the owner of these, but the moment I received them, I do recall thinking they'd be perfect to display on these otherwise unexciting candleholders. Each of the three marks a significant game. My dad was the pitcher (and his brother, my uncle, younger only by 11 months, the catcher). George W. Bush played either 1st or 3rd base. [I'll never forget my

michigan

2009-10-21T13:22:00.000-06:00

Oh Michigan. I miss you. I know this is inexcusably belated, It's October already. We didn't spend nearly enough time together this past summer; I'll forever associate the summer of 2009 with a deep heart fissure, the antidote for which would only have been your mortar. We'll consider next year compensatory and just go for broke.....Deal? I'll take your silence as a yes. Until next year, all my

LISA'S TOP ENCOUNTER WITH A STRANGER. WEEK OF 10.18-10.25

2009-10-20T17:34:00.000-06:00

I KNOW THIS IS BOLD CONSIDERING IT'S ONLY TUESDAY, BUT MY STRANGER ENCOUNTER BAROMETER TELLS ME NOTHING WILL TRUMP THIS BETWEEN NOW AND THIS COMING SUNDAY. VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE....(above photo meant to demonstrate my remorse for having been stupid, but also to inspire your sympathy...) Allow me to break it down:1. I mounted my bike and headed out for what I hoped would be a challenging, but not

.......I'm feeling a bit untethered.....but not, luckily to my national pride.

2009-10-19T06:34:00.000-06:00

Let's start out with something I feel needs immediate but brief mention. The child's name is "Falcon". I called my friend Kelly, who was on the road en route from a work conference in Dubuque, and as soon as I mentioned that (incredulously and with total excitement at what I figured to be its irony), she said something like "Yeah, Lis, the dad must have long been obsessed with flight and planes

Pacifier would've been a better call...

2009-10-19T06:22:00.000-06:00

Oh, Anna Nicole, if only we'd known.....http://www.cnn/com/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/16/anna.nicole.smith/index.htmlLooks like the TrimSpa was workin' though?Sorry...Truly though, tragic story.

Starting tomorrow, when I open my eyes, I'm gonna really open my eyes....and keep 'em that way.

2009-10-18T18:19:00.000-06:00

What I see if I remember to look up, from my roof (which isn't necessarily intended to be a fancy 'rooftop' balcony. It's moreso my hefting Hugo up out of the window--which is at standing height--, & then clumsily following with a book, mug, phone & pen-rebellious, subversive..landlord doesn't know...all in the name of beauty.) It's worth a scalding thigh or two.. What I see when I leave via my

2009-10-16T19:46:00.000-06:00

.......Mark "Big Cat" Wall.....Doing What He Does Best: being sweet; building stuff; being smarter than your honor student, and probably you; contemplating how he can so uncannily resemble Robin Williams yet be infinitely more handsome; fixing stuff other people have built poorly; running a school; knowing any fact or trivia about anything (sometimes even before said fact or event has

....KKP Happy Birthday...

2009-10-15T22:21:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Kelly! I love you. You've beaten me to 29...just as you've beaten me every year prior...someday you'll have to fill me in on what was going on during that 73 day interval, although I'm sure it was nothing of consequence, because I hadn't exited the womb and entered your life. I am so proud of you and happy for you.....You're welcome for the brevity of this paragraph (I tried)....A

2009-10-14T14:05:00.000-06:00

Operation "Free/Libre" Furniture Watch Experiment #4Item: antique, mammoth, elaborately designed table boasting cherubs (you heard me and you see 'em, at right) & an 80 lb white marble topItem carried down and placed adjacent to the dumpster : 2:44 pm Central Standard TimeItem gone by approximately : 4:52 pm Central Standard Time Further Project Explication : I don't particularly care how

Today's cnn.com article titles that belong on theonion.com instead

2009-10-14T12:27:00.000-06:00

[I emphasize: these are from solely today but it's a pattern I've seen for months]"Bisexual or Lesbian--please make up your mind"..."Popular Blogger Forbidden to Leave Country"..."Marge Simpson Graces Playboy Cover""Drive thru's 'like heaven', First Lady Quips"..."Could Fat Baby Turn Into Fat Toddler?"..."Suze Orman: YOU could turn into the Gosselins"..."Where Have All the Female Rappers Gone?.."

I wish I'd written this..but Bobby "Brainchild" Frost beat me to it by about 100 years...

2009-10-14T11:23:00.000-06:00

"Revelation"We make ourselves a place apartBehind light words that tease and flout,But oh, the agitated heart, Till someone really find us out'Tis pity is the case require(Or so we say) that in the endWe speak the literal to inspireThe understanding of a friendBut so with all, from babes that play,At hide-and-seek to God afar, So all who hide too well awayMust speak and tell us where

Courtesy of my friend Gabe.

2009-10-13T19:38:00.000-06:00

Because I don't have time to teach you all Spanish individually. "It's 2009."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7io6a6a1qY

Ira.

2009-10-13T14:59:00.000-06:00

I used to buy Ira an apple fritter a few times a week, and pay the $2 for his copy of Streetwise-a magazine written and published by some of Chicago's homeless residents-. His usual spot used to be outside the Starbucks where I'd utilize the wi-fi to do work. Occasionally we just high-fived.Now that I'm on a strict (self-designed) budget and am starting slowly to see said budget's effectiveness,

*For my fellow 16-32 year old Chicagoans:...2 words for you...Eagle...Man"

2009-10-13T14:09:00.000-06:00

Dear 1995, Thank you. Yours, Lisa McNerneyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsJLSdYLq6o

2009-10-13T02:23:00.001-06:00

So what then is the difference between you and I, if water runs down my tired spine like tears-and tears for you are the most foreign and obscure of all business.You reap vitality in all things, navigating your endeavors with the kind of casual indifference & flippancy only achieved by pure calculation. We sit and dine and watch blindly.To live more vibrantly, louder and with unassailable force

The Man with the Rain-Soaked Brain

2009-10-13T01:24:00.000-06:00

"Ask him if he still walks with rocks in his shoes to remind him he's alive, and above all to know it and feel it always!"the boy shifts uneasily from foot to foot, to foot to foot as though he might cleave right down the front and be done with the exhaustive effort it takes to stand utterly still and in recognizable balance.she laughs a deep guttural laugh at his exasperationthe boy, awestruck

"The Story Pirates"....

2009-10-12T16:03:00.000-06:00

...are a (now nationally known!) group of improv actors from New York (including my cousin Peter McNerney!!!!!). They perform at elementary schools all over...Little kids submit a single sentence, and the actors have to immediately construct a 'set' with costumes and act out a mini-movie or skit based on that sentence.The video stars my cousin Peter; it's called "This Movie Is About Flying Cats."

The Past 72 Hours: Things I've Learned, Realized, Experienced, & Fun Facts, & Tips:

2009-10-11T23:41:00.000-06:00

The Past 72 Hours:Things I've Learned, Realized, Experienced & Subsequent Facts, Tips&Conclusions:1. The largest living organism on Earth is a mushroom that spans some 200,00+ acres.2. There's no way around it. My stepfather is one amazing gentleman. "Well even if that WERE the last frozen yogurt, you could still take it and I'd run to the store and replace it.". 3. My landlord, though very

Word. THE Word.

2009-10-11T12:11:00.000-06:00

Remembering and believing this more every day. In other news, I designed that calligraphy myself, the "LISA". Without stencils....

Although we aren't dressed like twins any longer (Mom, you bordered on taking that too far...),...

2009-10-11T00:27:00.000-06:00

.....................I LOVE THIS SISTER LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE......................I AM LUCKY TO HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH HER AS MY SISTER, REGARDLESS OF HER 'LIMITATIONS'..........I LIKE TO THINK THAT IN MANY WAYS SHE HAS PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED- AND EVEN SHAPE(S) THE PERSON I AM TODAY.... I LOVE CHRISTY SO MUCH. SHE ISN'T CAPABLE OF READING THIS POST, BUT I WAS STILL COMPELLED TO WRITE IT.

Cleaning & Leaving Items marked "FREE" is as Fruitful as Hearing Coldplay's "The Scientist" on Repeat.

2009-10-10T17:53:00.000-06:00

Issue: I have too many belongings. Too much furniture, too many clothes (and I'm not even girly or a shopper), too many appliances.Thoughts/Machinations: If I condense what I can, being more economical about my space, I will be able to put a lot of my items out in front of my door and mark them "FREE". This will be liberating for me, because I truly am kind of a simple liver (donor?). Not a

Kindness can mean firm quads, if you know what you're doing.

2009-10-10T11:19:00.000-06:00

I learned the other day, as I bravely undertook the maiden voyage on my brand new mountain bike, that I SAY (not mouth, but SAY) the words "THANK YOU" out loud to each and every driver, walker, fellow biker or runner who moves aside or lets me go first. Establishing eye contact is critical. It's a variation, of the oh-geez-we're-both-comin-who's-goin left who's goin right this is awkward-glad

2009-10-09T17:04:00.000-06:00

Approximate savings so far: $1,440.00..................since securing (and we're talking packing tapeWho KNEW you could brew at home?? Other than everyone other than Lisa McNerney?Sole exception: I purchased myself a honkin' large raspberry mocha--yes with whipped cream, who you kiddin?--yesterday because my cousin had a baby and I was excited. My mouth deserved congratulations. One other time I

2009-10-08T20:39:00.000-06:00

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."-Frost

"TFTTU"

2009-10-08T11:36:00.000-06:00

My friend Amanda & I created the acronym: "TFTTU" as a stand-in for something we find ourselves saying a lot. Bet you wanna know what it means....."There's fortuitous, then there's us"....Don't confuse it with "TTFN", please. That gets dangerous and complicated, and makes us and you look a little juvenile. Old adage says 'only fun til someone loses an eye'. I only have one good eye to begin with

2009-10-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

I don't mean to be insensitive, truly I don't, but the question I pose to you is this: How do we stop, or at very least, curb the inbreeding? This chick's actually now out there on the road driving in this very car, presumably with current insurance, proof of registration, recently rotated tires and a a disintegrating corsage dangling from the rearview mirror (because she needs more distractions)