The Chronicles of Nernia: With a scone in my pocket: #'s 27-34 (and on. and on&on&on, til the break o' break o' dawn)

27. "SISTER: SEPTEMBER SECOND?!?!?!?!!? SERIOUSLY?"
With those words, my friend Anne (Americanne Crocker) Crockford* reminded me with the gentlest of indictments that perhaps it'd been just a bit too long since I'd blogged. We were chatting on g-chat and apparently she popped open a new tab (for those of you who, like me, enjoy bathroom humor and are mature enough to admit it--paradox, indeed--let it be known that I accidentally wrote 'pooped open a new tab' just now), hit up the Chronicles and was dismayed to see that I've let it lapse.
Particularly considering my very public proclamations that I would be consistent (& somewhat reliable, consistent track record to that effect, at least before leaving for Vermont and the Brian Dubie campaign).

"So, here I am baby, come and take me, take my by the haaaaayyand."

*It warrants mention that the subject arose because Anne was telling me she'd finally begun a blog of her own, which is something she's intended to do for quite some time. The link? OH. Sure, have it handy. It's pretty self-evident given the url what her blog is about. It's refreshing that some people's blogs actually have some sort of topical consistency or direction, huh? I'm not familiar. with that notion. Don't speak that language. But here it is, and enjoy. I'm proud of her. She's an incredibly busy, dedicated girl (woman. Sweet Merciful Zeus, we're 30, we're women I suppose), but she's found the time. Here it is. Boom. Consider your world (or at least your heretofore recipe books that heretofore lacked solid gluten-free options) ROCKED:

http://www.glutenlessfoodie.com/

28. You'll perhaps recall that this numerical system originally began as a brainchild thanks in part to the little facebook page I've got dedicated to the blog (which I've also neglected. If there were a DCFS for blogs, I'd require immediate incarceration, or at very least, mortification a la Gary Busey style mug shots, complete with mussed hair, Hawaiian shirt with buttons askew, though button alignment is the least of old dude's concerns, and glazed eyeballs), wherein I've got a certain number of 'fans', or people who 'like' this blog. Figured why not introduce a little order where none naturally occurs and write a short entry, one for each. Just checked. 188 people. We'll see if that doesn't increase if I advertise it or actually send invites to people. Either way I've got another 160 things to say, yo.

29. For Christmas, one of the things I received from the ever-gracious Janie & Barry Tate was a sweater. Hand knit. By Janie. If I understand correctly, the matching pants are taking Barry a bit longer than originally predicted, but I'm fine with that. If anyone can make green wool capris work off-season, it's me. Truly though, she worked arduously on these (I pluralize because she made a number of similar ones), and I recall more than a year ago her bursting into the upstairs bedroom at the lakehouse to measure my bust. --Not uncommon, but her excuse was better than what I generally hear. Anyway, it's beautiful, and I appreciate it so much. I wore it out the day after my birthday, and despite being with 3 different sets of friends, forgot entirely to have a photo taken. Did one myself sitting in bed at the end of the day. Thank you Janie. Not only does it fit perfectly, but I'm a sucker for green!

Needless to say, JOIN THE NAVY.

The awkward smile's free of charge. This time.

30. I turned this many <---- years on December 28th. Don't necessarily want to talk about it.

31. Let's call this segment.....TEXT, INTER-TEXT, CONTEXT. Just for fun. Although I can't ever seem to figure out why my Blackberry's memory demands that I delete multiple texts daily in order to make room for others, it's turned into quite the exciting game of roulette. Sometimes I'll delete indiscriminately, or maybe get crazy and do every third. In this pursuit, I've encountered a lot of old texts (sometimes I work from the bottom up, like Shakira). I'd love to share some of them with you.

I won't include the sender, nor the topic, but as in the tradition of textsfromlastnight.com, for instance, it's my hope that the absence of context is what makes them funny or mystifying (or horrifying).

"You just SHAMED ME in a public rest area--by name. Loudly!"
"BEN. JARVIS. GREEN. ELLIS."
"Pain and pleasure.......so intimately related....."
"I mean, not to compare myself to Jesus, but he did die at 33 TOO."--(Compelled to point out I received this from a non-dead friend. Who is indeed 33. But again, alive. Not 'again alive' like Jesus. Just straight up alive. And not messianic.)
"Well, I just sh*t on someone's farm. Dedicated it to my whole day."
"Do the head nod."
"The baby wants a milkshake. The baby wants mashed potatoes. The baby wants a margarita. Thankfully the baby doesn't always get what it wants."
"Obie made a play about his birthday (which isn't anytime soon) and I was a central character!!!!"
"You're obviously forgetting about the LIFE-CHANGING introduction of Pringles to the market in 1977."

32. I'm considering a throwback segment....Job often posts old stuff under the heading "From the archives", and I too am a keeper of things. By no means a hoarder. But a recorder. A documenter. I'm thinking the operating title will be:

Annal Surfing

See what I mean? Not exactly a current photo of Christine Allison McNerney & Lisa Anne McNerney.

Whoa Black Betty, it's CAM & LAM, Whoa(aaaa) Black Betty.

CAM & LAM.

33. I'm presently interviewing for two jobs. One in Vermont. One here. Because of the nature of the internet, and the fact that I put no privacy controls on my blog, I don't intend to share more about either here. I suppose, though, if any prospective employer takes the initiative (you know, if they're "self-starters", right) to actually peruse my blog, they'll be such a heady combination of impressed, disgusted & concerned for my mental health that it'll hopefully cancel out into a relatively neat net neutral, and not affect my chances too heavily in either direction. I will say that I'm excited about both, and truly can not stand so many months of unemployment. The campaign was refreshing for a thousand different reasons, but as they do, it ended. In a perfect world I'd be offered both of these positions, and after a careful, measured assessment of all practical factors I'd......obviouslychoosetheoneinVermontWHOAREYOUKIDDING?....no, I'd make the best decision. It's a precarious position sometimes, that of the full-time job applicant. That's how I categorize myself right now. Truly, I was never aware of the blessing of over-employment (having up to three jobs at a time in college and even after); I was too busy filling the rest of my time with social obligations (?), working out, familial stuff, etc. But the routine of work, even if it's skeletal, like a 36 hour a week gig at Barnes & Noble, provides some infrastructure around which to shape the rest of one's time. Without it, I'm more easily collapsible. And while that's cool for lawn furniture & the pillows on planes we're advised to use in the event of a water landing, it sucks for a 30 year old on the precipice of a 900+ mile move, Masters' Degree, and facing what almost actually LOOKS like a behemoth of uncertainty.

34. That got intense. Anyone else sweating? Whew. A little levity? Okay, so you'd think that given his colors--predominantly white with a smattering of light brown/tan, Hugo would be difficult to photograph in the snow. Nay. Despite the fact that I'm armed only with my Blackberry, and things get pretty pixelated, I am that person who photographs my dog nearly every day. He absolutely loves the snow. I feel like I'm dipping a toe into a dangerous current with this precedent--like I should either not mention Hugo at ALL, OR dedicate an entire blog TO him (not written from his perspective, that's just ridiculous)--but here we are. He's an important part of my life. DL Hugo, as Job calls him. Though he's decidedly not an African American television newsjournalist, I love the name. I'll subject you just to a few recent winter ones I think are especially cool.